Tired of Running...

This post been sitting in my draft forever. I know this post came out right afte the last one but it something I feel I want to finish.


I decided to jog after I had too much things in my mind. How much it clear my mind when I started to jog. The hard wind blown againts my body, making me much slower than my susal pace. Not that I jog often, I havent been jogging since last year. Do I try to jog when I have problems.? It seems that I do.



Remember the days, I jog every alternate days, from garden to garden. Most of the time I pick few friends house make it the point of destination. Sometimes I could jog reach the field play soccer then jog back home.It makes jogging much more interesting. On the days nearer to competition I dedicate to run almost everyday and other endurance practice. My prime days I could do 30 laps with no problem. My pick up days (days without training) I can do 10 laps without practice. Are those my peak?? Have I reach maximum of my potential? If so maybe Im not good as I think I am


I couldnt jog much now, I often give up halfway or less than that. Feel I am much heavier than I am used to. (thankful on that though). Feel tired easier, no desire to push my body. I give up on jogging easily.




I had this reflection the long time ago thats why this "jogging" became my topic. Jogging and Living through life has a lot in common. Sometimes we run up hill or down hill. We dont get to enjoy life all the time too, we have our ups and down too. So bear with the "downs" in our life and enjoy the "ups" in our life. Always think there will be another downhill coming after running so much in the uphill. Dont be despair if you day, weekend or even month is bad. Because the day will become better soon.



My peak endurance of my high school days, has it come to an end when I now hardly can run. I dont really know. This part of life, I call realising have I reach my potential in life? I always wonder. Can I be better? In life in studies, in work especially in games. But as soon as I think to myself I have reach my potential I wouldnt want to push it. A person should have the maximum potential but we will never discover the maximum if we continue to try.

Lastly please let me be able to push myself to run. I guess not I think I have to rely on basketball to force all this thing.

Lazy Lion

Sick and Tired...

Sick, Tired, Selfish, thats all I can think of now...

Lion

Flames..

I felt stupid, really stupid for my actions.


Thinking this would be just another trip down to CS. In the car i pretty arrogant you might say. I thought I knew a lot of things about cars. But for the fact I do not. Today I nearly die in a car,

The car pop, smokes covered the windshield. Immedietly I stop, Joe and Jennifer went down. While Im still in the car, only thing i could think of is calling my sister. In the midst of the thick smoke Joe yelled "Get out the car Lionel, the car is on fire!!!!!" In my mind I still did not sense danger. Within minutes the car engulfed in flames. We couldnt retrieve our stuff: Joe's cellphone, Jennifer's luggage and camera and my shirt and boots. Helplessly we see the car burn to ashes.

Recollecting yesterday, I told Jennifer she must be careful while driving and telling her stuff that I knew. I never imagine my car could catch on fire. Feeling I knew nothing now. STUPID ME

In other side, I feel a little blessed that we did not crash and burn. But it only material lost. Remembering that I few times escape without a scratch.

1. I zigzag in Daddy's motorbike in pouring rain coming back from Gerald. Was fighting with the Kancil car. A slight knock I could have flown and hit the hard curb and died there.
2. I was angry after the football game. Was riding Daddy's bike again, In tight 90 turn I skid the whole bike, the step was scraping the floor. I could have lost my leg in that incident (Saw my boots it already out of shape already.
3. I had accident with the civic. I got off just with minor bruise.
4. And today's car accident. I could have killed Jennifer and Joe together.

Thinking again wouldnt be easier if I could only die in any of the accident. Probably I wouldnt be this messed up. Sigh.

Sorry I could have killed my friends. How can I ever pay back thier lives. Think of other people's safety when fetching others. A MUST THING TO REMIND MYSELF AND OTHERS

I lost Daddy's hard earned money again. Sigh, I am really sorry when things thought to be straightend up this happen.

If I were to go please let me go and alone.

Deep Thoughts..

Tired from work, got out of the car after hearing those painful words.
Carrying a load of things and some of my tacos fell, I pick it up realising it is a clear night with so many bright stars. Thought to myself, these were the stars made us fell in love with each other. The three stars we used to stare when we are out at night. Now its only me alone walk under the stars.
How can I bear to watch these stars again knowing we might not enjoy it anymore. Have I not show enough of love? Have I not care enough? It seems it was never enough, maybe I am not a good lover. Sorry to make you hurt, sorry for not care enough.

How can I sleep knowing Im not at your heart anymore